This has been a long time coming.

One of my friends shared an article a few months back on her blog and it really sparked my attention. The name is the article10 Painfully Obvious Truths Everyone Forgets Too Soon. This article made me think about some things in my life that were beginning to frustrate me. Like my friend, the biggest truth that stood out to me in this article was number 7.

Some People Are Simply The Wrong Match For You.

This could not be more true right now. Some people are not meant to be friends with you. In this portion of the article, it states that you will only be as great as the people you are surrounded with. If you want to be a great person, don't surround yourself with crappy friends who make you feel like you are not wanted or are not good enough. You shouldn't be around people who do not make you feel happy or amazing with yourself.

Upon moving back to Kansas City, I have found out who my true friends really are. I have made new friendships that were not there before we moved, cultivated already existing good friendships into amazing friendships, and realized that those who I was friends with before we left just simply do not care about me the way I thought they did. I understand that we were the ones who moved on to a new place and I don't expect things to pick up where they left off, however, I did expect these people to not treat me like they didn't care I was back.

This has been really hard for me. I do not make friends very easily. Especially close friends. If you consider me to be a close friend then know that you are only one of a few. I think this is mostly because I moved around a lot growing up. I tend not to cling to people because every few years there was a new place with a whole new set of people and friends.

Before we moved, I had a few friends whom I considered to be close. I spent a lot of time with these people and we had fun together. I considered myself very fortunate to be friends with them. When we moved, it was hard (yes again, I realize it was our choice to move). When we announced that we were moving back, these friends seemed thrilled we were coming back, however, since we have been back, they have been distant, rude, impossible to be around, and even somewhat snobbish. I have found myself trying time and time again to make plans with these friends only for them to say they are too busy, or when we do make plans, they cancel at the last minute.

These friends have made me feel inadequate as a person. They have made me feel like they do not care I am around. When we got back from NYC last month, I told a few friends that we might even consider going back soon if the right job came up. They seemed saddened, however, when I told one friend we had decided to just stay here, this friend responded with a "cool" and walked away. Really? I thought to myself. That is all you have? I didn't expect jumping up and down with excitement but I did expect a little more than a "cool."

Some people you cannot remove from your life. Some people you are bound to be with quite often. Just because this is the case, does not mean that you have to go out of way to try to be friends. That is where I am at right now with some people. I will see them quite often (once a week if not more), but I am done trying to pursue a friendship. I am no longer going to text these friends and ask if they want to hang out. I am no longer going to spend my energy caring about their problems. And why should I? Doing this has gotten me nothing except for frustration and disappointment. Why should I try when these "friends" do not care or appreciate me?

I will do the bare minimum with these friends and until they are ready to try then that is all they are going to get from me.

In the meantime, I have new friendships that are blossoming and that need my energy. I have people who want to be around me and spend time with me. I have graduate schools to consider and a wonderful job that I LOVE! I have my husband, who I'm sure, is tired of hearing me be upset and complain. I would rather spend that energy on being with him and strengthening our relationship. I have two fur babies that need my attention. Most of all though, I have myself to consider. My feelings are a major part in who I am.

I love all of my friends, whether or not they are close. I just need to spend more time focusing on the friends who are there for me just like I am there for them. Life is too short to dwell on the friends that aren't really friends. There is not enough time to worry about them when they are not going to reciprocate. From this point on, I will worry about those friends who show they care and mean what they say!

GRADUATION!!!!!

About two weeks ago we were back in NYC for a very special occasion! My last 6 years of hard work has finally come to a wonderful end as I graduated with my Bachelor's degree! I am relieved I am done and I finally feel like I can breathe again. The last two terms have been rather difficult with moves and such, but I know one day my hard work will pay off. I am not sure what I am going to do next. I have been thinking a lot about graduate school and if I go (which more than likely I will, because let's face it, the job market basically requires it now) I will more than likely be going to KU because they are the only school that offers what I want... an MS in Global Policies and International Affairs! Don't worry, I will be keeping everyone apprised of my plans, but in the meantime, enjoy some pics!! (sorry they are crummy, they are from my phone. I promise I will be putting better pics up soon!)

A Stick of Dynamite with a Short Fuse

Here recently I have been so stressed out. I know we all have our problems and I am not saying that mine is any more significant that someone else's, but to me, I have been dealing with a lot.

I have tried my best to remain patient, but (as my title says) I feel like a stick of dynamite about to explode at any moment. I anxiously await my 2-3 hour window that I have at work while the children are sleeping because I know how much I can get done and how relaxing that time has proven to be. 

In the last month we have moved two entire times. The first house we moved into to rent, upon our arrival back to KC, proved to be most difficult. We packed all of the owners stuff while attempting to unpack our own and then they (the landlords) proved to be more difficult that what Josh and I decided we wanted to deal with. So we then packed our house up again (not a moment before EVERYTHING was completely unpacked) and moved about 30 mins. south. 

We did all of this in the last month, simultaneously to me starting a new job, trying to finish up my last 4 courses (which I am doing independently), and trying to organize a trip back to NYC this summer so I can walk at graduation. I feel like everyday has just thrown something else at me it is only a matter of time before I go crazy.

With that being said, I am seriously thinking about taking a hiatus from Facebook. I feel like, more often than not, some of my daily frustration comes from what someone has said, or posted on this silly social media site. I will be the first to admit.... I am ADDICTED to Facebook and not it a good way. I feel disconnected when I do not get on it at least once every 3-4 hours and some of that stems from having an iPhone. So, if I do decide to do this, I need everyone of you to keep me accountable. I will blog more often because I will want you all to stay up-to-date with our lives, but I will not have that added pressure/want of knowing who posted what last. 

And, if I decide to do this, it will not be forever. Just a few weeks until I can wrap up my last term with school. I need to have no distractions while I try and finish because my motivation to write these papers has not been existent. 

What do you think? Can you help me?

THE TIME HAS FINALLY COME!!!!!

The time has finally come ladies and gentlemen! In just two months, I will officially be a college graduate!

After 6 years of hard work and after changing my major 5 times, I will have my Bachelor's in Public Affairs and Emergency Management! I will be done... finished...caput... YAY!!! I don't think words can describe how insanely happy I am and how thrilled I was when I finally received my invitation for graduation in the mail yesterday!!!

I feel like one of the sole reasons that we were suppose to move to NYC was so that I could finally make up my mind and graduate. These last 8 months have been grueling, as I have put in 16 credit semesters and studied endlessly to get good grades. I am glad I will be done and I cannot wait to go back to NYC to walk the stage at graduation!!!

A visit from the family

A few weeks back my Mom, Melyssa and niece Beckym came to visit! Josh and I hadn't seen Mel or B in 2 years. They were just here for a few days and it was nice to get to see them.

Beckym immediately fell in love with her Uncle Josh and anytime I tried to play with her or be near her she would cry and run to him. All the same, we did get to share a few minutes here and there together and she is one of the sweetest baby girls ever!

We cannot wait until we can see them again!!

Smooches with Uncle Josh!

Me setting a not so great example during church, but hey, I will take what I can get!

I know I've been slacking...

I know I have been slacking on this whole blogging thing, but I have a good excuse. Back in February, I found out I was no longer going to be working. With the end of school in sight we decided to use this chance to go ahead and move back to Kansas City.

I searched and searched and found a great job and so we decided to go ahead and just move. I cleared it with school to make sure I could still graduate in time and I can!! I am able to do my last four courses independently via email... Thank goodness!

We got back to Kansas City about 3 weeks ago and are still trying to get our footing. Things have started off a little shaking with renting, but we are excited for the new adventures that we face.

Now that we are slowly getting settled I promise I will try to be better!

Here is my final NYC pics from our lives out there!

I will miss it dearly, but new adventures await!

Montauk for the night!

This past week I have had a lot of time off so Josh and I decided to take a drive and spend the night in Montauk. It was gorgeous and quiet and so nice to be out of town, even if it was just for the night! Enjoy the pictures!

Our hotel from a distance.

The view from our room.

Lighthouse!

The next morning we got up and decided to drive through the Hamptons.

This house was the nicest one we saw!

It was so nice to get away for the night and especially to go somewhere quiet!