One of my friends shared an article a few months back on her blog and it really sparked my attention. The name is the article10 Painfully Obvious Truths Everyone Forgets Too Soon. This article made me think about some things in my life that were beginning to frustrate me. Like my friend, the biggest truth that stood out to me in this article was number 7.
Some People Are Simply The Wrong Match For You.
This could not be more true right now. Some people are not meant to be friends with you. In this portion of the article, it states that you will only be as great as the people you are surrounded with. If you want to be a great person, don't surround yourself with crappy friends who make you feel like you are not wanted or are not good enough. You shouldn't be around people who do not make you feel happy or amazing with yourself.
Upon moving back to Kansas City, I have found out who my true friends really are. I have made new friendships that were not there before we moved, cultivated already existing good friendships into amazing friendships, and realized that those who I was friends with before we left just simply do not care about me the way I thought they did. I understand that we were the ones who moved on to a new place and I don't expect things to pick up where they left off, however, I did expect these people to not treat me like they didn't care I was back.
This has been really hard for me. I do not make friends very easily. Especially close friends. If you consider me to be a close friend then know that you are only one of a few. I think this is mostly because I moved around a lot growing up. I tend not to cling to people because every few years there was a new place with a whole new set of people and friends.
Before we moved, I had a few friends whom I considered to be close. I spent a lot of time with these people and we had fun together. I considered myself very fortunate to be friends with them. When we moved, it was hard (yes again, I realize it was our choice to move). When we announced that we were moving back, these friends seemed thrilled we were coming back, however, since we have been back, they have been distant, rude, impossible to be around, and even somewhat snobbish. I have found myself trying time and time again to make plans with these friends only for them to say they are too busy, or when we do make plans, they cancel at the last minute.
These friends have made me feel inadequate as a person. They have made me feel like they do not care I am around. When we got back from NYC last month, I told a few friends that we might even consider going back soon if the right job came up. They seemed saddened, however, when I told one friend we had decided to just stay here, this friend responded with a "cool" and walked away. Really? I thought to myself. That is all you have? I didn't expect jumping up and down with excitement but I did expect a little more than a "cool."
Some people you cannot remove from your life. Some people you are bound to be with quite often. Just because this is the case, does not mean that you have to go out of way to try to be friends. That is where I am at right now with some people. I will see them quite often (once a week if not more), but I am done trying to pursue a friendship. I am no longer going to text these friends and ask if they want to hang out. I am no longer going to spend my energy caring about their problems. And why should I? Doing this has gotten me nothing except for frustration and disappointment. Why should I try when these "friends" do not care or appreciate me?
I will do the bare minimum with these friends and until they are ready to try then that is all they are going to get from me.
In the meantime, I have new friendships that are blossoming and that need my energy. I have people who want to be around me and spend time with me. I have graduate schools to consider and a wonderful job that I LOVE! I have my husband, who I'm sure, is tired of hearing me be upset and complain. I would rather spend that energy on being with him and strengthening our relationship. I have two fur babies that need my attention. Most of all though, I have myself to consider. My feelings are a major part in who I am.
I love all of my friends, whether or not they are close. I just need to spend more time focusing on the friends who are there for me just like I am there for them. Life is too short to dwell on the friends that aren't really friends. There is not enough time to worry about them when they are not going to reciprocate. From this point on, I will worry about those friends who show they care and mean what they say!
